I have demons in me.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
we're so committed to being not committed
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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