the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
