Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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