Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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