the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
