that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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