...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
