Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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