OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
