OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
