When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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