at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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