I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
