It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
