woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize