i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.