seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
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