Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
