Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
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