You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize