I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
