Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
