I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
