I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
