why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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