i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
