ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Randomize
