His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
