Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
