doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
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