We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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