Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
she peed on how many people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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