I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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