The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
