So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
