There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
