The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
