so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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