i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
