yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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