The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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