I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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