My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
there's paper in my vomit.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
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I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
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I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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