My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now