she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
