i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
