and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
