Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
