I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
