i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Holy shit dude........stairs
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
