I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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