I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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