Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
