and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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