Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
