champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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