I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Randomize