i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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