We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
