i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
