You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
