We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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